You're in good company
More than half of Plenty More Fish members are 45 or over, so you won't be the only one starting again.
Whether you've come out of a long marriage, spent years focused on work or family, or simply haven't dated since before smartphones, lots of members here are in exactly the same position. Nobody expects you to know all the etiquette on day one, and most people are just as glad as you are to take things at a relaxed pace.
Know what you're looking for (roughly)
You don't need a ten-point plan, but it helps to know whether you're after friendship, fun or something serious.
Being honest about it on your profile saves everyone time and attracts people who want the same thing. It's fine if the answer is "I'll know when I meet them". It's also fine to change your mind as you go.
Let your profile do the talking
Recent, natural photos and a few real details about your life will get you further than a perfect sales pitch.
- Use photos from the last couple of years. Smiling, clearly showing your face, and at least one that shows something you enjoy.
- Be specific. "I walk the dog on the beach every Sunday" says more than "I like the outdoors".
- Keep the past in the past. There's no need to explain your divorce or your last relationship on your profile. Save that for when you know someone better.
Want more ideas? Read My online dating profile: nailed it! and 10 profile photos you shouldn't post.
Get to know people your way
You don't have to start with a one-to-one message if that feels like a lot.
Every member gets daily match suggestions, picked by the matching algorithm. You can also scroll the local discovery feed to see what people near you are posting, comment on things you have in common, or join the moderated live chat groups to get a feel for the community. Writing a post of your own in Articles & Spaces is a good way to show your personality, and people often start conversations from there.
Look for the people who reply
The Anti-Ghosting badge and member ratings help you spot people who are worth your time.
Members who consistently reply to messages get a badge on their profile, so you can see who has a good track record before you say hello. If someone isn't for you, the one-click replies let you let them down kindly, with no awkwardness. The guide to letting someone down gently has more on that.
Things have changed since you last dated? Our guide to online dating lingo explains the words you'll see, from ghosting to breadcrumbing.
Take your time, and stay safe
There's no rush to swap numbers or meet. Keep early conversations on the site, where they can be monitored.
When you're ready to meet, choose somewhere public and let a friend know where you'll be. However genuine someone seems, don't send them money or gift cards, and keep your bank details to yourself. Our guide on how to spot a fake dating profile covers the warning signs. Look for the ID Verified tick, and think about verifying your own profile too: verified members get far more interest from others.
Be kind to yourself
Not every conversation will go somewhere, and that's completely normal.
Dating at any age involves a few false starts. Treat it as a chance to meet new people and enjoy some good conversation, and the right connection is far more likely to find you. If you get stuck, the 24-hour Customer Success team is there by phone, live chat or ticket.